Yesterday, my little-but-all-grown-up sister visited with her 13 month old. She asked how I do it with two when she struggles with one.
First, I don’t “do it.” I merely wake up and they’re here, and fall I asleep and they’re here. And I try ----oooh how I try---- to fill the huge in-between with a mix of love, meals, diaper changes, happy moments, teaching moments, and laundry. Ooooh the laundry! That laundry that hides in our one spare room both done and undone day in and day out. We stay in. We go out. It’s nearly always a we and seldom an I.
So if it appears as if I’m “doing it,” I have no idea if I’ve succeeded or failed. Kept it together enough or hidden too much. Eh, and honestly, I gave up caring (all that much) about it. Two under two is not just a description, this thing is a lifestyle. Care too much and miss out on all the good parts.
Sometime during Macy’s short reign as the one and only and June’s debut which made two, the following thought planted and rooted deep. As a stay at home mom, I may loaf at 2pm, but I also feed a little at 2am. When Netflix is babysitting at 10am, it’s because I was still hopping between kiddos until 10pm the night before. During the 9-to-5ers lunch hour, I’m lucky to get a 5 minute uninterrupted bite to eat.
It’s salaried hours without the salary. No paycheck but still paid in ways much more treasured.
Not a me versus anyone thing. Just a little mommy math that has subtracted the guilt from the downtime and added much more joy to the go time.
So sis, you are/are not “doing it” just like the rest of us. The hard parts become easier and the easy will often roll into new challenges. No need for downtime guilt. You’re on your feet more than you’re off. You’re doing great. That cute neicey poo of mine was a happy, well loved, and well taken care of little thing yesterday---pretty much the best kind of employee review we’ll ever receive from our demanding underage bosses.
*Hearing cries in the monitor*
And now it’s go time.
