Not Near Deserving

Just over a week ago, Kendall and I celebrated our 3 year wedding anniversary.

Four years of being together. Three homes we've shared. One little baby of our own.

(And this is where my eyes start to well up---just a bit---as I type)

To some this is common. To me it's a personal miracle. Sometimes we get to enjoy blessings we don't get near to deserving. Kendall and Little Miss have been two of those blessings for me. Most people love their families. But, I truly love my family.

As I wipe my now soggy eyelashes and trickles on my cheeks, I'm so itching to share how we celebrated our three year feat. After moving to small town in the heart of Oregon's wine country (we're still stone cold sober but enjoying the lovely charm that high class tourism brings to these parts), we've fallen in love with exploring the other tiny towns that freckle our countryside.

One such town (quite far away but similar to our stomping grounds) was recommended to us by my parents-in-law. Kendall took off work so we could flee to the darling city of Vernonia, population 2,100. Before embarking, that amazing hubster of mine surprised me with fancy flowers and a sappy card, even after we had agreed that we would not put each other through the angst of coming up with anniversary gifts (Now the second holiday we've promised no gifts that The Hubbs has violated. I no longer trust him). The supposedly to-die-for Mediterranean restaurant was our draw. Unfortunately, we have a terrible streak of arriving at closed restaurants and this was no exception. So, we settled for Mexican food and had fun raiding one of the thrift shops.

Yes, I scored big. As I made my way up to the counter to pay for 2 like-new baby bibs (you know, the good kind with the plastic on the back), the angel of a check-out lady informed me that each grocery bag full of of baby clothes was only $2 (you pick what goes in a bag). So, for $4, we made out like bandits with all kinds of good stuff for Squishy and my niece who's making her arrival in October.

That's right. 12 sleepers. 9 pairs of pants. 6 onesies. 4 shirts. 2 bibs. 1 jacket. ONLY FOUR BUCKS. Happy anniversary to me! :)

After exploring Vernonia (can't say it took too long), we headed to the coast to enjoy the rest of our day. We landed in Seaside and toted Squishy along in her stroller. For our third time of being in Seaside together, we faced the usual dilemma of where to eat dinner. And for the third time, we found tasty solace at Pig n'Pancake. Yup, we're classy like that. Even though there are beautiful anniversary-worthy, candlelit restaurants, we just knew they couldn't whip up waffles and omelettes like our usual dive. And, Squishy got to enjoy the magic of a high chair for the first time. She loved it. Win win.

Three years down and eternity to go! :)

Oh, the Struggle is Real

So, here I sit as that sweet babe of mine naps, doing the thing I've been dying to do- blog. We just got home from our first time attending a "mommy group." I loved it. I needed that. I met some fellow moms right in the thick of things- teething and diapers and sleep schedules oooh my.

After moving when Squishy was only a month old, unpacking, adjusting, surviving the newborn phase and settling into my new stay-at-home-home position, I'm finding it time to branch out. Even stay-at-home-mommers need to connect with people, feed their brain, and get out of their comfort zone....at least that's how I've been feeling.

And, it was just as I was contently coming home from my new little group, all settled into my new experience in mommyhood, I remembered I needed to make that call. See, on my way to that haven of a group, one of my past beloved dental offices had left a voicemail needing a fill-in dental hygienist for a couple weeks. Kendall and I have decided over and over again that at least right now, we believe me being with Squishy during the day is best for our little family.

Yet, I hesitated.

I waited.

I mulled over the pros and cons and logistics of donning the scrubs and heading back to work to scale those teeth.

And, then I called the hubs for moral support to make sure I wasn't crazy for still thinking I should turn down the job offer before making that call. That call that consists of a thanks but no thanks, I'm sorry that I can't help right now, I miss working with you too, yes- I'm sure and so sorry. Sigh.

Being a stay-at-home mom has always been a dream of mine. Truth be told, 99% of the time it suits me just fine, and I still do have the blessing of working a couple times a month while Hubs watches Squishy. And, maaaan, I am blessed that Hubs is so hardworking and fortunate enough to have a job that can support our family. I realize a lot aren't that lucky.

But the struggle is real. Working vs. not working.
How much to work?
Or not to work?
And for how long?
And why?
And what reasons do I give people to justify my decision?
But does my decision really need to be justified?
Because every family and mommy is different :)

Anyway, Squishy is awake and duty calls :) Possibly the best duty there is :)

Thanks for reading :)

Love, Kristen :)